Psychic 101: the disadvantages of being a psychic medium

Being a spiritual and physical psychic medium is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had – second only to my family (which includes the conventional definition of family, friends, and pets). It can be really fun and hilarious as you bond with clients over stories shared in their spiritual connection with loved ones, conversations you have with Spirit (Spirit is really, really funny), and even as you discover the limits and boundaries of your natural abilities (I have channeled dogs and cats!).

But to depict this as fun and games is a genuine disservice to the purpose we should all feel when we embark upon this journey. First and foremost, I am called to serve, and I choose to serve using these natural abilities that I have chosen to develop. This means I’m sometimes put in dangerous situations, I’m sometimes forced into awkward conversations, and I frequently receive uncomfortable messages that I am compelled to relay. It also means that I must be committed and disciplined.

Welcome to Part 3 in my Psychic 101 Series where we explore what it means to be a psychic medium. In this section, we will discuss the less glamorous parts of being a psychic medium, the hard decisions that need to be made, the struggles and sacrifices required, and the discipline needed.

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A few years ago, my cousin lost her battle with depression, when she secretly purchased a gun and took her own life. While my cousin’s battle with depression ended, my aunt’s struggle with heartbreak had only just begun, as she was haunted with questions like, “did my daughter’s suicide damn her to hell?” and “how can I live every day without my daughter?” As years passed, my aunt retreated into her own internal, unhealthy prison, as she struggled with depression, irrecoverable loss, and unimaginable pain.

My aunt was too overwhelmed by grief to sense the loving spirit of her daughter who wanted to heal her mom but felt powerless on the other side. She had tried everything to grab her mom’s attention but the family’s religious restrictions closed her off to the possibility of hearing from her daughter and her grief blinded her from receiving the unexpected messages her daughter was trying to deliver.


A Call to Serve

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“I need you to talk to my mother,” was a message I had expected and dreaded. I don’t openly channel the dead at family gatherings and understand my family’s firm religious stance on using the services or abilities of someone touched by “the occult.” If this were Salem in the 1400’s, it’s not that I could have been outed as a witch, it’s that many members of my family would be leading the hunt.

The number of family members who know I am a professional psychic medium I can count on one hand: my mother, my grandmother on her side, and my aunt on her side. I’ve channeled for all of them. My mother and I have openly discussed our abilities for years and have developed our abilities along side of each other. My husband knows. A few select friends now. However, the vast majority of my clients are online.

When my cousin reached out to me, I grimaced, knowing the implications of her request, because each time I deliver a message, I open myself up to inquiries. I open myself up to the possibility of being found out. Of being shunned by those who don’t understand or who are afraid of my abilities. However, to agree to develop your abilities, is an agreement to serve the greater good. It is a public service. No one said this was going to be an easy path without sacrifice. Without risk.

Accidentally Alienating those you Love

The message was too important to ignore despite my deepest desire to pretend like I didn’t see my cousin standing before me. She was shrouded in the brightest, loveliest sunlight. Her face used to have the deep groove lines of pain, her face used to be contorted by depression. Now it was fresh, young, vibrant, and entirely absent of pain. This was the first time I had ever seen a spirit this close and I had never seen anyone without pain lines written across their face. “I was really, really sick before I killed myself. I need my mother to know that I am at peace now. I’m not sick any more. I have never felt this alive and happy. She needs to forgive herself. She needs to understand that this was what I needed. For me. She needs to let go of her grief and enjoy life again. She is too young to die. It is not her turn. She has things she still has to do.”

By the end of our conversation, I knew what I had to do. I delivered the message but obscured my role as a psychic spiritual medium. “I had a dream,” I lied. My aunt’s religious belief system condemned the use of psychics but had a rich tradition of heavenly messages being delivered by way of dreams. This lie allowed me to heal my aunt’s heart, deliver the important message my cousin had sent, and protect myself from further inquiries. The cost? I would have to carry the burden of my lies with me.

All lies have a cost and honesty almost always serves the greater good which means that my call to service is a call to maintaining integrity. After all, no one trusts a lying psychic. Yet my objective here is the greater good and to serve Spirit which is sometimes a balancing act. I can’t do what I do if people don’t trust me. I can’t do what I do if people think I’m aligned with Satan.

Living the life of a psychic medium means that you will constantly be evaluating how much of yourself you can share with friends, family, and new acquaintances. It can make dating hell. You have to determine the degree you want to be publicly recognized for it especially if you want to maintain a professional day job that many would find incompatible with mediumship.

There are some who would be uncomfortable with the knowledge I can speak with the dead, be made aware of conversations held in private, and sometimes pick up on energies, feelings, and thoughts that they’d otherwise like to keep to themselves. The sheer presence of a psychic medium could be enough to warrant violence, ex-communication from family, being asked to leave a church, or be fired from a job. Yet, a call to serve is a call to serve, regardless of the implications or awkward conversations. Even if you lose a friend. A parent. A grandparent. A sibling.

You will terrify the hell out of people

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The idea that someone would be terrified of me because I do this… is almost unbelievable.  I connect with Spirit using love and compassion. I grieve over roadkill. I rehome spiders. I drink herbal tea. I cry watching commercials. But my life’s purpose is to heal pain by bridging the gap between the living and the dead so people don’t focus on the fact that I cry watching the Traveler’s insurance commercial with the puppy worried about his bone… they focus on the dead bit of the description and reach their own conclusions.

I am not a member of the Church of Satan. I don’t define myself as a Satanist. I not actually affiliated with any church or religious organization, I consider myself non-religious, and I do not believe in God/Gods (but you have a right to your own beliefs). What I do scares some people which means I’m frequently lumped in with other things that scare people. Sometimes, when people are scared, they become cruel and dangerous. Sometimes, when people are skeptical, they turn pleasantries into an Olympic competition forcing a burden of proof onto others.

When I introduce myself, I rarely introduce myself as a psychic spiritual and physical medium, because these words trigger a series of expectations, beliefs, fears, and curiosities in people when I’m just standing in line trying to pick up my cold brew iced coffee. I’m sorry. I’m sure they’re lovely people but no, I have no desire to prove myself, by giving them a free reading. I do not want to be called a devil worshiper while I’m at the checkout line in Target. I have little desire to be the object of a witch hunt.

The reality is that I prefer to read for people online because of the anonymity. Because it’s safer for my family. Because not having to pay for office space allows me to maintain lower prices for my clients. Because, at the end of the day, being a spiritual and psychic medium consumes a lot of energy and at the end of the day, I want to binge watch my favorite television series just like you.

This requires commitment

Being an effective and accurate psychic medium is a commitment. It’s not something easily done in the evening. I have to meditate frequently, engage in mental exercises designed to strengthen my psychic connections, and create experiments designed to test the limits of my abilities. That’s not including the hours I spend doing readings for clients. These are the non-business aspects of being a psychic medium and alone consumes hours of my time every day. Paired with the mundane efforts of maintaining a social media presence and creating online content, I work seven days a week, and frequently have long work days in which I’m up early and working until I close my eyes for the evening.

When Spirit wants to come, Spirit wants to come. Even if you’re standing in the checkout line with toilet paper.

Ultimately, my goal is to eventually earn enough money where my work-life balance is more sustainable. However, currently I work way more than I get paid with no real end in sight. I also can’t imagine scaling down my efforts yet. This means that this commitment I have made is one that has to be burdened by my entire family. My husband has to earn enough to make up what I lack. Some months are harder than others.

Lastly, it’s a lifestyle change in which I have to prioritize meditation, abandon alcohol consumption, minimize caffeine consumption, and limit the exposure to things that lower my vibrational state. My body, mind, and spirit are tools used for divinely inspired communication with Spirit which means I have to make a commitment to sleep, eating a well balanced diet, and avoid consuming items that will harm or altar my body (I really miss eating a lot of chocolate and drinking a lot of caffeine).

This requires energy

Unfortunately, even if I did have more time to spend with my family, I may not have the energy. Connecting with energy, as a medium, consumes a significant amount of energy. The energy consumption is so great that I frequently sweat as my body heats up, I become ravenously hungry, and need a period of recovery after the session has ended. Channeling energy requires energy.

When my day is packed full of spiritual and physical readings, it leaves very energy left for chores, housework, physical exercising, and so on.

Should I Monetize?

When I originally started reading for others, I read for free, because I had a primary source of income. However, it was an unsustainable arrangement because after work, I simply didn’t have enough energy and time to really develop my craft. When I lost my job (and my primary source of income), many of my clients encouraged me to turn this into a profession. They argued that my gift was too powerful and important to only perform occasionally. It was meant to be shared.

I felt uncomfortable charging for my services until one of my clients explained it like this: Do doctors charge even though they have curative knowledge? Of course! They have to earn a living. Look, you don’t have to charge astronomical prices because I know you’re not out to get rich. You can just charge what you need in order to keep doing what you do.

Although I do sometimes perform free readings under special circumstances on special occasions, I cannot fincially afford to do this any more. I would love to give my gift to everyone who asks but I cannot. I have to weigh the importance of the message against the importance of paying bills and talk openly with my Spiritual Team about my needs as a spirit having a human experience. To read or not to read for free is a decision I make with them.

A lot of my business is grounded in the faith that if I do a good job, if I take care of my clients, if I’m accurate and have earned the trust of my clients then they will come back to me. I am planting seeds in hopes that I can eventually harvest the fruits of my labor. The decision to monetize my gifts was not a decision I made lightly and was a decision I made reluctantly but it was necessary.

I am constantly having to reconcile my abilities to receive messages with the potential realities of delivering those messages. I do this by asking, “What purpose does this message serve? Does it serve others? Does it serve the greater good? Does it serve my greater good? How important is this message? Am I the only avenue for this message to be delivered?” These are the deciding factors for me in whether or not someone receives a free reading and I am always checking in with my spiritual guides to ensure that I am not prioritizing my personal gain over the greater good.

This is Part 3 in my Psychic 101 Series. The purpose of this series is to help you discover your psychic abilities, learn how to control your psychic abilities, and how you can master them.

You can read Part 1 titled, “Psychic 101: I Think I’m Psychic – Now What?” here.

You can read Part 2 titled, “Psychic 101: Learning how to control your gift” here.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Introducing a new series titled Psychic 101

Everyone is psychic. Everyone. Including you. On some level, you knew this, didn’t you? We’ve all had those moments marked by our abilities. Have you ever thought about someone before they called? Or finished someone’s sentence? Perhaps it was more of an emotional transference where you could just sense something was wrong with a loved one. Or maybe it was predictive in nature and came to you in a dream?

Allow me to demystify what it means to be psychic, why I know you’re psychic, what you can do with this information should you choose to pursue it, and even how to pursue it. Every weekend, I will publish another article in the Psychic 101 series to help you better understand your abilities and how to use them!

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